Man that guy at the coffee shop this morning. He was the start. That tone. He used a tone. He thought he was being like… suave. That's what he was going for, Suave. And he almost pulled it off. If I weren't so focused on changes in tone generally it would have sounded sexy the way it was supposed to like interested like Hey and maybe he wouldn't be endearing maybe he'd be intimidating or scary or too tall but no he's a big tall nerd with glasses that are just too large and he's beautiful which is how he's been afforded the chances to practice that stupid tone of voice and I'm sure he gets plenty with it and goddam his little maroon sweater and his dumb glasses and I just want him in his underwear on my couch chattering because I know he's the type to chatter and I want to hear what he has to say. Am I objectifying him? Maybe. He was chattering with those chicks this morning I already know. Why do I like manboys. I guess I don't like anyone really who takes him or herself too seriously. I don't like myself when I'm serious either. Life is so weird and fucked up and dark and not ok sometimes we need to be able to get to a place where we see light and silliness and really the kind of hope and optimism that only children are capable of before shit gets a hold of them and they get jaded the fuck out. Maybe being an adult child means you're not held back with those constructed filters either. Pure honesty. Not yet trained in bias enough to judge it. I like manboys. Some of them are too difficult too afraid haven't worked out enough of their shit but some have already been to the dark side have welcomed the jading have done enough of their own stupid adult male constructed bullshit garbage and end up settling nicely into grownup children eyes and arms open smiling often psyched almost always, telling the dumbest stories with the most enthusiasm and never letting you forget how special you are because if anything can make a manboy happy it's the ladygirl who takes care of him. Fuck. I think I need another coffee. Almond milk please, and can you make it a decaf.